The Psychology Of Complex Games

Learning Things, and other Curiosities

I feel stupid.

This is a common response people have when playing games that are complex, not intuitive, or have a steep learning curve. I recall trying to teach a loved one Magic the Gathering once on vacation. Within minutes, she was in tears and all her childhood insecurities bubbled up telling her that she isn’t very smart, followed by internal anger and, in her words, shame.

Magic the Gathering, like many contemporary games, is notorious for having cards or mechanics that change the core rules just about every turn. It is an endless process of learning whenever a card is played to the table. With 60-100 cards in a deck and 2/3rds of them having special effects on the game play dynamic, it can be a challenge to learn the flow, let alone figure out any sort of strategy to win the game - which is usually the point of games.

One could say that complex or “crunchy” games aren’t for everyone - which may be true. However, I would argue that they open a part of our mind to a new way of learning and exploring a system of things. To be fair, gamers who love complex games typically are learners and enjoy the exploration process of learning in a general sense. Something in my mind opens in the process of learning. Gaining small victories and implementing those understandings can be deeply satisfying. Those who struggle with this sort of learning aren’t necessarily lazy or unintelligent. Quite the contrary. Many people I have gamed with that struggle with complex games are genuinely intelligent with complex day jobs that carry loads of responsibility.

So what is it then?

I would submit it is in part, their fiercely competitive nature, many of which would not agree or even recognize that would be the case. My experience suggests differently. It is also their ‘self-talk’, which I’ll explore shortly in this blog.

Competitive Thinking

The need to win for the competitive person is not just a fun thing to accomplish for a high-performer, it is the ultimate state of being. To be on top isn’t always about crushing others, it is often about proving to themselves that they are important and worthy - perhaps it could be said - worthy of love. As disheartening as that may sound, I have known very close friends and family that have this deep-seated need which they seldom will admit to anyone. It manifests in technicolor through the gaming experience, which in a strange way is why these sort of games are actually good for them, if they can push through it.

This idea doesn’t come simply from observation or some clinical training on my part. It comes from personal experience as well for my own gaming journey.

Changing the “Script”

This author wasn’t always a “gamer”. A few games here and there growing up, some D&D as a teenager, and long, multi-year gaps of no gaming at all up until my mid-40’s was pretty much my life of gaming. Yet something in me changed in my late 30’s when a Catholic priest friend of mine said this to me after I confessed a long litany of complaints about life being complicated and wishing I could learn faster:

He said, “In my experience, I believe anyone can learn anything, given enough time.”

Not incredibly profound, but it sank deep into my psyche that day. My priest friend was and still is a lifelong learner. He plays piano at a concert level, has 2 law degrees, and has taught quantum mathematics at a local university. Some of the code he wrote during his teaching career was used on the space shuttle. Some would say he must be a genius - he would say he definitely is not, yet he holds the belief that he can learn anything, given enough time.

Over the years, he would send me books on quantum physics, ancient Greek language, novels on historical events, and a variety of other literature which I barely understood. We had a very unique relationship where we would write letters rather than call. We would correspond before email and the internet existed in any useful way, and in doing so, had numerous, thought-provoking exchanges that reshaped how I viewed the world. Thankfully, we remain great friends to this day - but we text more than we write:)

From those experiences, I studied and learned to read ancient Biblical Greek, learned to write in hiragana, created a book on original origami, have become a certified paraglider, developed and operate 3 companies, and have created deeper and more meaningful relationships than I ever thought possible in my younger days.

We are not alone, believe it or not - and getting that concept opens up our genius

Years ago when in college or learning a new thing, I had a tendency to allow others to take charge, figure it all out, and then explain it to me. It was better that than be vulnerable and show any weakness in my ability to learn. I hated being that vulnerable and I took myself way too seriously. But when I discovered that there were people like me who wanted to learn but were too embarrassed or ashamed with their approach to learning, I started to thrive and developed an insatiable curiosity for new things, to include euro-style games and subjects I never imagined I would understand.

Within the complexity of things is a whole new world of discovery. It is a frontier of imagination and filled with concepts that people try to articulate to others. I find that game designers that use complex mechanisms are really trying to capture a sense of realism of how things play out in real life and some do it brilliantly through what is likely a meticulous and deeply insightful take on a time period, place, or method that some human has experienced in some way. And it is there that new doors unlock in the gamer’s mind and new ideas can take shape.

Without saying too much more about this concept, it is my hope that the reader will relate to the topic in a deep way and maybe, will discover that whatever story they tell themselves regarding their intelligence, capacity, or relatability can be afforded an opportunity for a second look. We all struggle with something, and that is a fact.

One last story - I used to teach art therapy for a number of years to primarily men who had learning disabilities. Many of them could not remember language rules from one session to the next such as grammar, sequence of sentence structures, and things typical children learn in grade school. At first, I could not understand why it was so hard for them to learn what I thought were simple things. Gradually, I accepted that some of them simply had limitations. But they never stopped trying, in part because they wanted to please the instructor and be likeable.

When my colleagues and I demonstrated that our students didn’t have to learn certain things to be our friend, we witnessed an unlocking of their brilliance which wasn’t necessarily a rote memorization of things, rather, it showed up as lovely art, stories they would tell about their favorite family member, humor, or other delightful characteristics. It was humbling, eye-opening, and divine all at once to experience our students in this way. And as the old saying goes, we found that the students became the teachers of the moment many times over during our sessions.

And that’s the point. Complex games are just another tool for self-exploration. They trigger some to replay old, useless tapes that say “I’m not smart or good enough”, which do not serve us at all. It will be true that some games require a person to hold a great number of procedures in their head to play and some may burn-out before they get all of it. My challenge to you, dear reader, is to be willing to tell yourself a different story. Should you have the patience, willingness to take your time, and have enough curiosity to learn the new thing, whether it’s a game, new skill, or new relationship dynamic, you may discover a new genius inside yourself that’s been hiding.

You will fail. You may feel embarrassed. You may spin out in your head and want to hide somewhere never to be seen in public again… My advice? Find kind people who love you and will give you space to learn and grow - to include your gaming community. You just may find a whole new world that is engaging, exciting, and full of new ideas that can create a lifetime of excellent memories. If you don’t have that group or those types of people in your life right now, trust me, they exist and are looking for you too.

Saint Enigma.